Dear Lissa,

"My husband and I have been married for four years. In these four years, we have had two children. We have had our share of squabbles, but I never thought it was anything serious.

This past year I decided to return to school. Since my husband works odd hours it was increasingly difficult for us to spend any time together. We would get maybe one night a week alone. The more the school year wore on, the less and less he helped around the house. I also noticed he became more withdrawn. I would beg him to help me, but he never would! I was completely overwhelmed. Then one night, during finals, he got drunk and told me he wanted a divorce. I totally panicked and left the house (the kids were overnight at their grandma’s). Two days later, he had changed his mind and said he wanted to work things out. We went to counseling, but he just sat there and said very little.

Soon after, I found he had been text messaging a female co-worker over 500 times in one month. This is a woman I had asked him not to talk about our relationship with previously. After a LONG confrontation, he confessed that he has been confiding in this woman about our relationship. He says that he can talk to her about things he can not talk to me about. They also both swear that there is nothing physical going on. She is also married.

He has since stopped text messaging this woman about our relationship, but they are still friends. It doesn’t help that this woman is exactly "his type.” I am totally jealous and find myself checking his phone and wondering what he is doing constantly.

Do I have the right to check his phone? Am I nuts for being jealous? Am I crazy for allowing him to still be friends with this woman? Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.”