Author Jen Lancaster has the ability to make you belly laugh. Snort. And belly laugh some more. Her readers can't help but see themselves in some of her (sometimes ridiculous) predicaments. She manages to say and do things many of us have only thought about saying or doing. And secretly, we wish we had the nerve. You may know her from Bitter is the New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass. Now, Lancaster has a new book hitting store shelves this month: SUCH A PRETTY FAT: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or, Why Pie is Not The Answer. Here's a little more about the woman who keeps us in stitches. We supplied the questions. These are her answers. In her own words.

Where'd you get your wicked wit?

I get it from my dad. He doesn’t say much, but when he does, he’s the master of observational humor. He can sum up any situation with the most biting, incisive, and hilariously off the cuff retort. (Often these remarks are aimed at my mother’s relatives.) (Ask me how popular he is at family parties.) What’s ironic is he’s never trying to be funny – generally he’s just annoyed. Still, he’s got the best comedic timing I’ve ever seen, even if it’s unintentional.

When did you come to the realization that you were going to be a professional writer?

Four books and one movie option into this career and I’m not convinced I’m a professional writer. I mean, how did I get so lucky? It still doesn’t feel real, so I’m always bracing myself for it to be over. For example, I just got a bunch of new dresses for my 14-city book tour, and yet when I was shopping, I thought, “If I have to start temping again, I can wear these dresses to the office!”

You've taken some hard knocks. How has being taken down a notch or two on the wealth and humility scale changed you?

The sense of entitlement I had in the dot com era is long gone. I used to take everything I had for granted and was never satisfied with what I got. I was bossy and demanding and totally full of myself. I drove everyone around me crazy because of it, too. Having gone from everything to nothing, now I’m ridiculously appreciative… and wonder if I’m not equally annoying with my constant thank-yous?

What's the best (funny or not) feedback you've received from people who've read your work?

The whole reason I started writing was because I was struggling with being unemployed. I started a blog (which eventually turned into Bitter Is the New Black) to tell these stories because I wanted to feel like I wasn’t the only person who had it rough. So, the best feedback I get is when people tell me my books have helped them through a hard time in their lives. Also, I love getting emails from husbands saying, “Your stupid book kept me awake last night because my wife wouldn’t stop laughing.”

Has anything/anyone you've mentioned in your books come back to haunt you?

Yes, but not directly. In my second book, I wrote a couple of stories about my awful neighbors. In fact, part of the subtitle on this book reads Who Are All These Idiots, and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? So, one of my obnoxious old neighbors recently joined my gym. The gym’s really small and intimate and the owner builds a sense of community by having mixers once a month. I couldn’t make it to the last party, so I donated some signed copies of my book for the monthly raffle.

When the give-away part of the night rolled around, one of the personal trainers got to my item and said, “Next, we have a signed copy of Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster.” Hateful Neighbor immediately announced to the group that she knew me and used to live across the parking lot from me. And then the trainer read the subtitle, and I’m told the entire room laughed for about ten minutes.

I stand behind what I wrote and I find this story hilarious. But the downside is I have to avoid the gym after 6:00 pm because that’s when she works out.

What, exactly, did the doctor tell you about your health that made you start trying to get "less fat"?

I’ve always been vaguely/academically aware of the connection between obesity and heart disease and cancer, so that bit of the lecture wasn’t a shock. The part that really got me is when she explained how I was setting myself up to have a stroke because of clogged arteries and I freaked out thinking how that might affect my smile.

What made you decide to seek out a trainer, instead of trying to exercise on your own? (Is her name is really Barbie? Really?! Barbie!?)

OK, no one actually seeks out a trainer named Barbie. She was new at the gym and was just building her client base, so I was randomly assigned to her. (Upon finding out I was training with someone named Barbie, my level of freak-out was even higher than the aforementioned stroke talk.) I decided to hire a trainer because I’m the kind of person who needs to be accountable to someone else in order to get results. What’s ironic is she turned out to not only be a great trainer, but also a really good friend.

How is the battle of the bulge going?

It’s going well. Even though I finished writing the book last fall, I haven’t stopped with the personal training. Although I’m only down about 40 pounds since I started, I’ve completely changed my life. I’ve lowered my blood pressure and cholesterol and I’m no longer borderline diabetic. I’m not thin, but I’m so much more fit. For example, last year I could barely walk ten minutes on the treadmill – now I can run. When I first started, I couldn’t squat 30 pounds – now I can lift 160. Even though I’m still much heavier now than I was in college, I’m way more fit than I ever was as a skinny little sorority girl.

What's the one thing you absolutely, positively refuse to give up?

I’d like to give a life-affirming, upbeat answer here about how I’ll never give up my good attitude or positive sense of self. The truth is, I’ll never give up cupcakes. I’m not sure what happened to cupcakes in the past few years – in my experience, they were always dry, airy, artificially flavorless cake, topped with a gelatinous, overly sweet frosting. When I heard about local bakeries selling them for $3 each, I lost my mind. I thought this was most ridiculous thing in the world… until I finally had one. Now they’re thick, dense cake in a myriad of flavors like Dreamcicle and Pina Colada and Lemon Lavender and the frosting is so light it begins to melt when it touches the lips. They’re worth every penny and pound.

You sound like a brash, tough-gal who casts off criticism easily. Is that the real you?

To an extent. Criticism is a great learning tool and I value the opportunity to improve myself and my writing because of it. For example, I got a lot of flack after the first book that I used profanity unnecessarily. I took this to heart and cleaned up my language in subsequent books. The flip side is, I kind of lose my mind when I perceive the criticism to be unfair or a personal attack.

What is your biggest weakness?

My husband says I will argue with anything that moves. I’m not great at picking my battles, because in my mind, everything is a battle. That’s why I never read my reviews on places like Amazon.com because I always want to fight back and that’s not a professional, appropriate response. Nor is Google-stalking the people who leave mean comments. (Um, not that I’d know anything about that.)

What's your advice for people whose life suddenly takes a left turn?

What helped me most was telling myself, “OK, this is a miserable situation. This miserable situation is going to last a while. But it’s not going to last forever and I’m going to get through it.” In this case, my natural propensity for fighting came in handy. I knew I was in a bad situation, but I also knew if I fought hard enough, eventually I could change it.

Your MySpace says you don't want children. Is that something that could change?

Nope, not even by an act of Congress. If our ridiculously spoiled, disrespectful dogs and pushy cats are any indication, my husband and I would fail spectacularly at actually raising a creature that had the ability to talk back.

What do you think of Life Coaches?

Short answer? They’re scam artists. Long answer, if you really want to be in a profession that helps people get their lives on track, go to school, get your Master’s, and become a licensed mental health professional. And if you really want to get your life on track, go to a licensed mental health professional who went to school and got her Master’s.

Please share your favorite:

Handbag?

About seven years ago I got a Kate Spade bag with big periwinkle cabbage roses printed on the lightest pink fabric you’ve ever seen. I carried it until it was visibly, painfully filthy. No dry cleaner will touch it and nothing I’ve tried can get it clean, yet I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it. Every spring I pull it out of its storage bag, hoping somehow it got less disgusting and I can carry it again. So far, no luck. Maybe next year?

Pair of shoes?

Will I lose my street credibility if I say Crocs? After spending 40 years in ridiculously, pointy and uncomfortable shoes, there’s something decadent about Crocs’ squashy, rinse-off-able goodness.

Make-up item?

I swear by Photo Finish Primer by Smashbox. It evens out the skin and fills in tiny lines, allowing everything else to go on more smoothly.

Outfit?

The second it hits 65 degrees, I put on a pastel polo shirt and khaki shorts and leave them on until fall. Although I have a variety of shirts and shorts, this specific look has to be my favorite and I’ve worn it every single summer day since 1983. The sizes may be different, but the style never is. (And the collars? Always popped, or course.)

Accessory?

If I’m awake, I’m wearing pearls. Period.

Do you have another book in the works? What will that topic be?

My fourth book called Pretty in Plaid sold back in January, and it’s a collection of funny stories from childhood, such the time I forged my Girl Scout badges. (And yes, I still feel guilty about that. But I made up for it by selling the most cookies.)

If you weren't doing this interview right now, you'd be ...

Working in the garden. It’s finally spring, the sun is shining, and I need to repair an entire winter’s worth of rotten dogs running roughshod over everything I planted last year.