A few weeks back, we waxed psychotic on why a married man should wear his wedding band to signify his lack of availability. We're not going back on that. But we did realize that there's more to it.

There's something called the red flag: that "thing" about someone that warns of impending danger, insanity or the potential for otherwise uncool behavior.

Like, say, your boyfriend has a habit of waiting outside your brother's bathroom to catch a glimpse of him in the shower. This is a red flag.

Maybe the girl you like always seems to have a box of condoms handy "just in case." Red flag. (Don't give me that women's-lib-taking- care-of-yourself excuse. If a chick carries rubbers around, it's weird. Empowering, sure. And good for her. But weird. It makes you wonder.)

The thing about the red flag is that it's always been on you to take heed. But it seems that characteristic has gone away. Example:

We've got a friend who is dating men (yes, plural) with marital problems. We see a red flag. These guys are married – with problems – and they're trolling for girls to ... what? Help them through a tough time? Until their marital issues clear up? Then what?

Our friend doesn't see this as a red flag, but we won't get into that. Instead, we'll ask what happened to the red flag. Remember high school, when the quarterback ran through his harem of groupies hugging, kissing and dating without a care in the world? While he technically wasn't dating anyone, the harem served as a red flag of potential commitment issues and playerish tendencies.

What happened to that simplicity? Why don't a man's seven kids by six different women equal a red flag? How come several highly documented encounters with law enforcement officials don't give today's women pause? Why aren't we suspicious of bachelors in their late 30s? Especially the ones online. Not that there's anything wrong with bachelors in their late 30s. Or with the World Wide Web. But surely you see our point.

Which is that we as a dating society used to be attuned to those little things that set off alarm bells. We were a distrustful bunch, and it was good for us.

Now, we're all about the second chances and the Pollyanna approach of looking at the bright side. That is precisely how Kevin Federlines are created.

Bridgette has a harem. But so what? E-mail her at brwilliams@quickdfw.com.