My marriage nearly ended before it began. The problem? Girlfriends! I’m not talking about his former flings – I’m talking about my girlfriends. My husband had an issue with how much time I spent with my friends and resented the value I placed on those relationships.

I fiercely defended my girlfriends, holding onto the old adage to never let a man (no matter how cute he is or how well he dances) interfere with your friends. However, there comes a time, usually when your walking down the aisle, when that commandment is lost in favor of “for better or for worse”.

As a result, I didn’t call my friends as often. I begged off from lunch dates and declined invitations to movies or parties. I convinced myself that I didn’t have as much in common with my single friends and focused my energy on deepening my relationship with my newly titled husband.

However, the more I tried to move beyond what I thought of as “outdated relationships," the more depressed I became. Ironically, my mother, of all people, saved the day. She sat down with my husband and said: “Paige is like a bumble bee. She needs to be nourished by many flowers in order to survive. Limiting her friendships will kill her spirit.”

Although I admit being compared to a bumble bee is a little cheesy, it seemed to work. Today, my husband supports my friendships and encourages me to maintain these special relationships. However, for many women, the constraints of work and family put maintaining personal friendships very low on the priority list. Sadly, social life becomes limited to a wave in the carpool line or small talk with the clerk at the deli counter.

Sheila Levatino is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She sees many women in her practice that struggle maintaining friendships after marriage and children. Levatino warns that the loss of social relationships has a dramatic impact on a woman’s health and happiness. “We are social creatures. Those who have a variety of positive relationships live longer and happier lives. Friendships help us keep on track – they are also fun. Fun and humor are sustaining in life.”

So what’s a gal to do when the details of daily life get in the way of fun with friends? I have provided a few quick tips - all of which can take less than an hour per week.

•Send frequent emails. No more than a sentence will do. Just a quick note letting her know you’re thinking of her.

•Call once a week. If you’re really pressed for time, call when you know she’s not available. I know that may sound a bit tricky, but at least you can leave a quick message and share a positive word without having to make a twenty-minute commitment.

•Exercise together. Let’s face it, you're dragging yourself to the gym as it is. Bringing a friend along may give you that little dose of motivation you need to break away from ice cream and reruns of “Sex in the City."

•Send a greeting card. In this age of technology, I get giddy when I spot something in the mail that resembles a letter rather than bills and oil-change coupons. Sending a card is a quick, easy and effective way to let someone know you care.

•Go to lunch or have a girls' night – at least once a month. You need it! Your soul needs it! Believe it or not, your family needs it! Taking a break and being with friends allows you to reset and return to your everyday world restored.

When describing friendships, Shelia Levatino uses this great analogy: “This year, my tomato plants are doing well – last year was not as good because I didn’t spend enough time caring for my garden. You see, a garden cannot magically grow on its own. It needs to be nurtured and tended to.”

I love it when people use analogies to make a point or share a perspective. As for me, I am plumb out of clever comparisons. However, I can say that all things that have value need to be nurtured in order to be sustained. That goes for bumble bees, tomato plants and, of course, friendships.