Although plenty of psychotherapists make their livings helping people think about the past, as a culture, we tend to have an "onward and upward," "look to the future" kind of mentality.

Wallowing in the memories of mistakes is not encouraged. But anyone who has been in the dating pool for long inevitably builds up some regrets – the one that got away; the patterns that are hard to break; the breakup that was long overdue.

While regrets might not be the sexiest kind of dating topic, they can help single people learn about what works and what doesn't as they search out a partner.

"I regret holding back and not being more aggressive," said Joshua Hancock, 27, referring to the woman sitting next to him, Mandi Shing, 21. "Eventually you have to learn from those kinds of experiences and just open yourself up instead of tragically looking back, wondering 'what if' about a situation."

Shing said not noticing the nice men is something she wishes could be different.

"Overall, my biggest regret is taking for granted guys who were really good to me," she said. "I think I'm self-destructive, definitely, and I get freaked out by guys who are nice to me – messed up childhood, I guess."

Many women said that being too available was a long-standing problem. Grace Martinez, 23, was one of them, citing "offering too much and not getting anything back" as a lament.

"I'm waiting to see what they're offering now – I'm careful which people I date," she said.

Jeana Delano, 40, agreed with that notion. "You just have to be yourself and not try to be what the other person wants you to be," she warned. "You can't change yourself for the other person."

"Too much, too fast" was another frequent theme. "In high school, I regret being involved with one person for too long where I should have been dating around," said Stacie Abner, 39. "If I were to talk to a young person, I would say date within your own age and don't go too fast."

She continues, reflecting on her own regrets: "Have your own identity and your own friends because you need to keep your own personality. When some people date, they lose themselves."

Have a big regret you'd like to share? E-mail Leah at lashafer@gmail.com.

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Leah Shafer