You always carry a torch for your first.

Have you ever heard that saying? We have, and to our annoyance, we've discovered that it's mostly true.

There are differing opinions on who constitutes your "first." Some say that honor belongs to whoever was involved in the loss of your virginity. Others say that it's your first love, which is annoying because most of the time you don't know you were in love until after it's way too late. See?

And since we share the opinion that your first equals your first love (unless of course your first love and your devirginator are the same person), this also gives your first love the power to jump out of time and ruin pretty much everything.

Recently, our first love popped up to tell us that our current crush couldn't hold a candle to him. It's not that our current crush isn't hot – he is – or smart, witty, funny and nice to animals. The trouble seems to be that he just isn't our first love. He's missing That Thing, whatever it is that our first love had in abundance. But that's our issue.

While we're busy being bitter, we've come up with a list of what you need to know. At some point in your love life, you'll find yourself carrying a torch for someone. But there are signs to look out for.

You know you're still carrying a torch if:

•You still consider calling him on his birthday, even if he hasn't yet met your husband.

•You only deleted his cell number and e-mail address after you memorized them.

•He's the star in all your old relationship stories, good and bad.

•He's the last one you kissed, slept with and/or brought home to Mom.

•He's the guy you measure all men against to see if they're boyfriend material.

The unavoidable fact is that there will always be one guy you just can't (or won't) get over for whatever reason. So if you want to join the bitter-torch-carriers party, we meet on Wednesdays. Wear orange.

Who do you carry a torch for? E-mail Bridgette at brwilliams@quickdfw.com.