The dynamics of a first date can be tricky: Should one person offer to pick the other up, or is that unsafe? Should you meet for a full dinner? At a bar? How long should the date last?

The most awkward element seems to be money and deciding who pays.

I've long eschewed fancy dinners on first dates because I feel uncomfortable about a man dropping $75 when I may not even want to see him again.

Maybe this is a city thing, but it seems pretty rare for a woman in Dallas to pick up any part of a first-date tab. If it's expensive, I end up feeling indebted, even if I offer to pay and he declines. However, I've been accused of having weird notions about dating, so I asked other men and women how they deal.

"If you ask a girl out on a date, it's just common courtesy to pay, regardless of what happens," James McFayden, 35, says. "I think it's a nice gesture for a woman to go dutch – she offers and the guy usually says no, but the guy really appreciates it. It says, 'I'm not a gold-digger.' "

He continued, "It's a modern age; we're not bound by the constructs of our parents' generation. But when it comes to the dinner date, I am still of the old-school, chivalrous class."

Courtney Neel, 24, says gender roles play into first-date billing.

"Sometimes, a man wants to be masculine, and if you offer to pay, it demeans his masculinity," she says. "It depends on the type of man you're going out with, and once you're into it, your real roles start coming out."

That sentiment seemed common.

"If we actually start dating and become boyfriend-girlfriend, then we become more aware of each other's financial situations, and how paying for a dinner might affect the other person's wallet," says Delfino Perez, 31.

The traditional "man pays for first date, no matter how big" scenario seems pretty universally accepted in the city. In fact, many women said they would be a bit offended if a man accepted their offer to half the bill.

"After a couple of dates, we split things more. But before that, I sorta think it's the man's place to eat it," says Kristin Smith, 23.

"I like to keep it even once I'm in a relationship, though."

Leah always pays for a date when it's at CiCi's Pizza. E-mail her at lashafer@gmail.com.

eHarmony date

Wonder if we will end up

In a TV spot?

That wine was lovely

Steaks and calamari, too

Yikes! Here comes the bill.

Leah Shafer