Prior to the rise of metrosexuals, gay men had the market on meticulous male grooming cornered. (Wikipedia describes metrosexuals as "men who have a strong concern for their aesthetic appearance, and spend a substantial amount of time and money on their images and lifestyles.") It used to be that regular bathing, shaving, astringent, mud masks, exfoliating scrubs, manicured nails, and trimmed nether regions were all tell-tale signs of our sublime gayness. I suspect some straight men started to get tired of hearing women praise their gay friends and lament their own man’s lack of interest in personal grooming. So they began to step it up, realized their interest in skin care and trimmed nails didn’t threaten their manhood, and became the pioneering metrosexuals of our day.

Unfortunately, as you ladies know, there is still a long way to go. So this column is for you and the closeted metrosexual in your life. Print this out and take it to him. If he has ever wondered why straight women are so drawn to “gay dudes” or why the words “he’s so hot, I’ll bet he’s gay” ever comes out of your lips, then he needs to read this.

Some pointers on basic personal grooming

A good haircut rarely takes place in a mall. Your hair is one of your defining physical characteristics. It is one of your attributes that can be changed frequently, easily and will say a lot about your personality (think Mr. T, Carrot-Top, Dr. McDreamy.) So spend some time actually thinking about your hair, and then go spend a little money on it. Women dig guys with great hair.

Manicures aren’t for sissies, so let’s just get that out of the way right now. We’re not talking French manicures, tips or any kind of coloration. A manicure is simply cleaning up your nails and nail beds and softening up some of the rough spots on your hands. Just think about it - that moment you extend your hand for the first time, when your eyes meet hers and all else disappears. Do you want her first touch of you, the first feel of your body, to be of a crusty, scaly mitt with cuticles gone awry and half chewed fingernails? Hopefully not. Show her you care about your appearance, even if it seems like the most minor of details. Go to any nail salon these days and you’ll see a healthy mix of men and women.

“Manscaping” is the removal of unwanted hair from the male body. In case you are wondering, it is derived from “landscaping,” or the removal of unwanted grass from a yard. The basic premise is the same. When playing in your yard, you don’t want to be waist-high in grass…I’ll let you make the connection on your own. There are several options available to you, with the most effective (and most costly) being laser hair removal. It hurts. Really bad. But beauty is pain, my friends, so buck up. Since I did it about six years ago, they have really improved the technology and now even offer topical anesthetics, undoubtedly reducing the pain quotient.

And then there is waxing, also a mind-blowingly painful experience. In The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Steve Carell really was having his chest waxed. Go re-watch the movie. That’s not acting. Essentially, wax is applied to your person, strips of cloth or tape are placed over the sticky mess and then violently ripped off your body. I am not a big fan of this one (can you tell?), but for the sake of full disclosure I feel compelled to let you know this is an option.

Waxing does last a little longer than the least painful hair removal method of them all, which is really just a combination of a good electric razor followed up by a straight-edge. No physical pain here, just mental. Unless you are a contortionist, you’re going to need help with this one. Since hair removal has never been much of an aphrodisiac, I wouldn’t recommend this one before you two lovebirds head out for dinner. Save the shaving for a Sunday afternoon.

No one is saying hair removal is neat, convenient, or painless. In fact, I have had my own unfortunate incident with a Vietnamese spa worker and some hot wax. But it is something that, for us cursed with an abundance of hair, owe to ourselves and to our sexual partners.

These are but a few of the things you can do to yourself to show concern for your physical appearance. People notice these things, especially women. A nice haircut, good hands, a lean, trimmed body not covered in hair, are all things that a lot of women (and some men) want. They will make you stand out and be noticed. But they also say a lot about your non-physical traits. It speaks to your confidence, your sense of worth, and your sensitivity to things your partner finds important.

Every other Thursday, Just Friends explores the bonds between gay men and straight women.   E-mail o8sis